Nepal

Nepal Plans to Legalize Same-Sex Marriage, Discrimination Persists

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Nepal Plans to Legalize Same-Sex Marriage, Discrimination Persists

Bhakti Shah and Durga Thapa were both discharged from the army because of their same-sex relationship.

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KATHMANDU, NEPAL – It wasn’t until Geeta, 32, was working as an instructor for the Nepalese army in 2002 that she decided to act on her feelings for another woman. Geeta was training new soldiers and says she fell in love with a trainee, Dee, who is in her mid-20s. *Both names full were changed in this article one year after original publication after the women suffered persecution from family for coming forward.

The two women have been life partners ever since, but their decision to be open about their relationship cost them their jobs in the army. Geeta says they were both fired, but not before she was jailed and tortured.

“I had been working honestly following the army rules and regulation,” Geeta says. “But I had to face unbearable torture and finally [was] fired just [for] being a lesbian.”

She says she was kept in a dark, cold dungeon for two months and was mentally tortured for defaming the army and violating its rules by establishing a lesbian relationship.

"I could not see even [a] lamp and sunlight during that time,” she says. “Don't ask me how I [spent it], as [I] don’t like to remember those treacherous 60 days in the army jail.”

Geeta and Dee first met inside a Nepalese army barrack in Kathmandu seven years ago. The two women shared a bed with four other women in the tiny women’s barrack. After a few months, the two women became close friends and eventually realized they were both struggling with their sexuality.

“I was anxious then, thinking what kind of girl I was,” Geeta says. “I wondered [to] myself why I was attracted towards girls.”

Geeta, who is from Nepal’s far western region, says that she always felt more like a boy than a girl. Instead of “Bhakti,” which can be a male or female name, she likes to be called “Milan,” a completely male name.

“I was born as a girl biologically and slowly showed interest in wearing male [clothing] and carry[ing] out the work generally done by male[s],” says Geeta, who wears men’s shirts, jackets and ash-gray jeans.

“I was never attracted to boys,” Geeta says.

Eventually she began to fantasize about having female sexual partners. Then she met Dee. But she says she worried about the implications of starting a relationship with a woman.

“I was in deep love with Durga,” Geeta says.

When she eventually came forward and openly admitted her relationship with Dee, she says it wasn’t long before the commander of the barrack called her in and put her in detention on the grounds that her relationship dishonored the army. Dee was immediately discharged while Geeta was kept in detention for 60 days before she was dismissed without any paperwork.

Army officials declined to comment for this article, but did confirm that both Geeta and Dee were former service members.

“I lost my [hard-earned] army job in a moment,” says Geeta, who had entered the army at 18.

Geeta decided to take legal action to attempt to get reinstated. She filed a case with the Supreme Court last year. The case is still pending.

Both Geeta and Dee, who now live together in a rented apartment in Kathmandu, now work at the Blue Diamond Society, BDS, Nepal’s leading organization for the rights of sexual minorities.

The couple had a wedding ceremony at a temple four months ago. But their marriage is not recognized here – not yet anyway.

Nepal plans to legalize same-sex marriage when it votes to approve its new constitution in May. But until gay couples receive legal recognition, many couples say their jobs and safety are at risk. There has been a steady rise in complaints filed by gays and lesbians documenting unlawful dismissals from work. Some activists argue that homosexuality – which was classified as illegal bestiality until just a few years ago – should fall under current anti-discrimination clauses in the constitution. But so far, their pleas have met resistance.

There is no official data about the number of lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, LGBT, Nepalis. The Central Bureau of Statistics did not include sexuality in its last census in 2001 but plans to in the new census scheduled to be held this year, says Sunil Babu Pant, Nepal's only openly gay member of Parliament and BDS founder. According to Badri Pun of BDS, as many as 3 million Nepalis are LGBT. For Pant, who also founded a travel agency, Pink Mountain, with two other gay Nepali men, the legalization will be good for human rights and tourism. He says they are already planning same-sex weddings atop Mount Everest.

In December 2007, the Supreme Court of Nepal struck down the law that classified homosexuality as bestiality, giving LGBTs greater rights. By November 2008, the court ordered the government to move toward legalizing same-sex marriage. A committee was formed to study similar laws in other countries and to make recommendations to the government on same-sex marriage legislation for Nepal. Nepal is expected to legalize same-sex marriage in May under its new constitution.

Sharmila Dhakal, BDS legal adviser who coordinated the same-sex marriage review panel, says the committee’s report is in its final stage and will be ready to present shortly.

“It will be made public soon,” Dhakal says.

Dhakal says the report will offer a positive view of same-sex marriage for Nepal.

“I am sure the government will soon enact a law for gays and lesbians and recognize same-sex marriage,” she says.

Many same-sex couples say they can’t wait to tie the knot. Shah says she plans to legally marry Thapa with great fanfare when the same-sex marriage law is passed. They are also planning to adopt a child if they can afford it.

“Our struggle will go on unless the state formulates the law,” Geeta says.

But while there has been legal progress here, social and work place discrimination remain high. Many LGBTs hide their identities, fearing social stigma and the risk of losing their jobs, Pant says. 

“Like me, there are five lawmakers in Nepal who are LGBTs,” Pant says. “But they are not revealing their identities.”

Geeta says there are dozens of lesbian couples in Nepal's army, too.

“They will reveal their identity only when the country recognizes the same-sex marriage,” Geeta says. “There are also lesbian couples in police and other professions.”

Rabina Hussain, 27, of Nepal's central district of Bara, used to work for the police, but says she was arrested and kept in jail for one month last March, after police accused her of making a younger woman act as her lesbian partner. She was later released and her case was dismissed when authorities realized the relationship was consensual. But she is still suspended from her job at the police department.

Six other couples shared similar stories.

Still, the primary impediment to equality is the social perception of homosexuality. The Hindu-dominant society here still perceives same-sex relations as a psychiatric problem and disease, though medical science disproved this many years ago.

“Gay[s] and lesbians are patients,” says Ram Dev, an Indian yoga guru. “Their treatment is possible.”

But the World Health Organization announced more than 10 years ago, in May 1990, that homosexuality is not a disease.

“The male-male or female-female relation is a personal choice,” says Mira Dhungana, an attorney with Forum for Women, Law and Development, a women’s rights organization. “The state should honor the individual choice of its citizens.”

Kamala Subba, 31, says it’s more than a choice, but a natural act. Subba says she was ostracized by her village for being a lesbian.

“I am [a] lesbian naturally,” Subba says. “This was not my wish and longing. This was compulsion. I stayed in the society hiding my true identity for years.”

Subba, 31, had a commitment ceremony with another woman from her district, Bhima Limbu, 25, at a temple, but they had to move to Lalitpur, a district that neighbors Kathmandu, because they say that lesbians aren’t welcome in their home district.

“We could not return to our home district, as villagers assume we have committed a crime by tying the knot between lesbians,” Subba says. 

Subba now works at Mitini Nepal, a nongovernmental organization working for the rights of sexual minorities, while her wife, Limbu, stays at home and does household chores.

“We are tied in [a] moral relationship,” Subba says. “But the society does not try to understand us.”