Financial Burden and Local Tradition Foster Child Marriage in Nepal

NUWAKOT, NEPAL -- Sapana Balami is wearing a blue frock. Her long hair is tied back with a rubber band. The lanky 14-year-old girl looks pale and worn-out. She says it feels strange to carry a bulky backpack at the same time she carries a child in her belly.

Balami is a ninth grader at Bhawani Secondary School of Kagatigaun in Nuwakot, a northeastern district 12 miles from Kathmandu. She is married. She is six months pregnant. Like many of the village girls here, Balami was married at an early age.

Durga Devi, a local woman, says many of the young girls in the village are pregnant, while other teens have just had their babies. Several others have become engaged recently, she says. “Tying the nuptial knot at an early age is our tradition and identity,” Devi says.

But Balami says the marriage was against her wishes. Today, she sits inside her classroom as classmates socialize outside during a break. “My parents married me off without my consent saying that it has been tradition for generations,” she says.

She married fellow villager Kiran Balami, 20, one year ago. Since her wedding, she says her life has become one hectic routine that begins at five in the morning. She cleans the house, feeds the cattle, washes clothes, prepares and serves breakfast all before heading off to school. “I longed to study. So, I didn't quit it even after marriage,” she says. “Ever since I became pregnant, I am in tension. Who will listen to my pain and suffering?” she asks of her community that accepts and encourages child marriage.

Sapana’s classmate Sita Balami, 14, gave birth to a baby girl 11 days ago. She, however, cannot return to school, as her family members required her to stay home.

Chakraman Shrestha, a teacher at the local school in Nuwakot, says out of 5,000 people in the village about 70 percent are married. “And engagement has been already arranged for some others,” Shrestha says.

The tradition of the engagements is an important part of local culture. When a young man’s family visits the family of a local girl, they bring coconuts, chocolate and other sweets. If the girl’s family accepts the sweets, the engagement is considered formal. If she elopes with someone else other than the chosen groom after the engagement, the girl’s family has to pay as much as 100,000 rupees, $1350 USD, to the groom’s family as fine for the trespass. “Marrying off their children as early as possible is taken as the pride among the locals. Since marriage below 20 is not allowed by law, we tell them not to do so,” Shrestha says, though the advice is rarely welcome. Shrestha says he has received a death threat when he asked a local family “not to marry off their underage children,” he says.

Child marriage is not unique to Nuwakot. There are many villages throughout Nepal where the practice is common, especially among the Dalit people, or the so-called untouchable caste, where poverty and illiteracy reign. Married Dalit girls can be found playing in the dust with vermilion powder in their hair, bangles around their wrists – all signs of a married girl. Some underage married girls say they try their best to hide vermilion powder and bangles to look unmarried.

Muni Mali is nine years old. His wife, Chanda Mali is eight. According to Muni’s mother, Chanawati, the couple was married five years ago – at the ages of 4 and 3 – but her only daughter has not yet been sent to her husband’s house. “By this year they will come to take the girl. We will send her away,” says Chanawati.

Chanda’s mother has been teaching her about the work she will have to do in her groom’s house. “I am teaching my daughter how to respect father-in-law and mother-in-law, cook food, wash clothes, do the dishes and do other domestic works,” says Chanawati. Chanda has never met her husband, but says she does understand that she is already married. “Mother says my husband is handsome and good,” she says innocently. Chanawati says she has observed the young boy and is confident in the match. “I have closely watched my son-in-law. He is perfect and only made for my daughter,” says Chanawati, laughing.

Sapana, Sita and Chanda are among 60 percent of girls in Nepal under the age of 18 married off by their parents, according to a United Nations Population Fund, UNFPA, report published in 2003. The report reveals that 24 percent of girls in Nepal have children before the age of 18. Child rights advocates say penetrating local culture to dissuade child marriage has proven difficult. Often, girls are married very young to eliminate the financial burden of raising and educating a girl. The government here has outlawed child marriage, but enforcement is minimal. The real issue, advocates say, is the lack of rights for women and girls in the country.

CARE Nepal, one of the leading NGOs working in the field of human rights here, recently studied child marriage across three districts—Dhanusha, Mahottari and Rupandehi—in 2009. According to the study, 90 percent of so-called lower-caste girls were married between the ages of eight and 12 in these districts. Among the most common reasons parents marry off their son’s, according to the report is to “get daughter-in-laws to support household work."

Advocates nationwide say that the economic condition of the families is the primary factor in whether or not their children are married off. Local lore is also responsible for the haste to marry off young girls. It is widely believes here that a girl must be married before puberty or she will be unable to find a husband. “From rural areas, many young men migrate from village to urban areas searching job. So, many parents are afraid that they will not find a husband for their daughter when they grow older,” the report concluded.

Sociologist Prakash Rai says patriarchy and superstition have a lot to do with the promotion of child marriage. Many Hindus in Nepal, the dominant religion here, believe that a parent’s soul will rest in peace in heaven if they marry off their daughters before her first menstrual cycle. “Society does not give importance to the daughters since only the sons have to perform last rites in accordance to the religion,” says Rai.

Financial Burden and Local Tradition Reign

Phiroj Siddiki, CARE Nepal project manager, says the Dalit and Muslim communities in Terai districts often marry off their daughters at an early age to get rid of the financial burden to educate them.  But child marriage is also a part of a deeply rooted tradition. Siddiki says many families in the Terai districts reported that they believed their departed souls would rest in peace in heaven if they married off their daughters at a very young age. Siddiki, who recently launched a campaign to abolish child marriage, says it is difficult to eliminate the age long tradition of child marriage in the society.

“We are launching various awareness programs in the villages in an effort to reduce the sufferings faced by the married girls. We tell the villagers about the negative sides of child marriage, but they do not stop marrying off their wards at the early age. Instead, they take us otherwise and say that it is against their tradition.” Siddiki says.

Balami says she was against early marriage, but her family's financial concerns took precedent. "Since my parents want to lessen their burden and follow the tradition, I couldn’t say no," she says. “My parents had felt that I was their burden. So they married me off, to get rid of that.” 

Despite her grown-up responsibilities, Balami sounds like an average teenage girl when she describes the details of her wedding day. She says she got to wear new clothes, slippers and bangles. She received gifts and even money from relatives and neighbors.

"But all the happiness turned into horror in the evening. I felt loneliness when I was at [my husband’s] house without my parents. I broke down for hours," she says of her wedding night.

Balami says she works very hard for her husband and her in-laws. “They repeatedly ask me to work hard, as I am married for that,” she says.

Child Marriage Outlawed, Enforcement Minimal

Since 1963, Nepal’s civil code has outlawed child marriage, making it illegal to arrange a marriage for girl who is under 18. “The guardian will be imprisoned for six months and pay the fine 10,000 rupees [$135 USD] if found marring off an underage child,” says advocate Anjana Khanal, who works on child rights issues in Nepal.

Despite the fact that tens of thousands of child marriages are estimated to occur here each year, not a single case has been filed in courts. “The guardians know that child marriage in a crime. But nobody dares to file the case against the social tradition. Girls who were forced to get wed at early age hesitate to file cases against their parents. And so does the groom’s side,” Khanal says.

Nepal government has signed various international treaties and protocols, including the Convention on Elimination of All forms of Discrimination Against Women, CEDAW. The Ministry of Women, Children and Social Welfare has created awareness campaigns against child marriage in many of the most affected districts. Under Secretary of the Ministry, Ratnakaji Bajracharya, says woman development offices also keeps surveillance and several non-governmental organizations have been launching awareness campaign against child marriage in several new districts this year. “But so far, the awareness campaign has not yielded the expected result,” she says. “The government is trying to eliminate child marriage from the country.” She, however, admits that the administration offices in districts are very inactive and are not doing much in the “fight against child marriage.”

“Some of the district administration offices are mute since the child marriage has been a part of the culture,” she says.

Chief District Officer Taranath Gautam of Kapilvastu district, a child marriage prone Terai district, says officials are clueless about such a crime because no case related to child marriage has been registered. “It is the joint effort of all political parties, social activists and other stakeholders to end child marriage,” he says. 

The people and organizations working for child rights say child marriage is not only a violation of child rights, women’s rights and human rights, but also one of the main hurdles of the overall development of the country.

Siddiki and Rashmila Shakya, program coordinator of the country’s leading organization working for children, CWIN, admit that no case related to child marriage has been filed with the police or local courts. “It is largely because of Nepal’s political instability and hesitance by victims,” Shakya says.

“If the state interferes and gets tough on the implementation of the existing legal provisions than this crime can be eliminated,” says Siddiki.

Still, the heart of the issue for CWIN and other rights organizations here is the social view of women in Nepal.  “The parents consider daughters, who are born while waiting for the son, as their burden. They marry off daughters early thinking that it will decrease the mouths they have to feed,” Shakya says.

Health Advocates Becoming Involved in the Debate

Back in Nuwakot, Balami says she had heard of the suffering local girls faced as a result of their early marriages and childbirth long before it was her turn. She says common conversation for 11, 12 and 13-year old girls here is pain during sex, fears of childbirth and the struggle to please their in-laws.

Balami has not yet been to the local health post, even though she is six months pregnant. Her school friend Sita says she never visited a doctor during her pregnancy and gave birth at home. “Some of my friends have [had] miscarriages after two or three months while working in the field or in school. Some others do not go for health check though they have been suffering from urine infection,” says Balami.

Health workers say young women often endure a multitude of health problems if they marry at the early age.

Dr. Gita Gurung, gynecologist at Teku Teaching Hospital in Maharajgunj, says health complications like stillbirth, excessive bleeding, miscarriage and unsafe abortion are common for girls who marry at an early age. “The girl has to be a mother once she gets married. The girl does not have full-fledged physical or mental development,” Gurung says. “The babies [often don’t] get proper care since the mother herself is a child,” she says.

But in the villages, the traditional perspective reigns. Durga Devi of Nuwakot says there are many health benefits for young mothers.  “It is easier to give birth at the early age,” she says. Plus, “mothers will not look old if they marry at the early age,” she says.